Listening to Joy FM a few days ago when they played Tell Your Heart to Beat Again. It’s a great song, but when I heard: Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again, it overwhelmed me and broke my already broken heart.  It kept playing in mind all day. In earlier years, expecting things to be better was part of the loss process. Now it seems I’m facing the rest of life without that thought. Still many outrageous blessings, still joy in the Lord, and still loving relationships and amazing children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but not Joe. Then in the evening, I felt God say to me, ”Can you not wait for me like you waited for Joe? You have a wedding feast to look forward to.” I began to think how I waited for Joe. We knew each other three years before we were married, including a 16-month engagement – seemed like forever to me! But during that time, I enjoyed spending time with him, getting to know him better and love him more. I spent time getting to know and love the family more. I spent time looking forward to our life together. I spent time getting ready for the big day and the life together. And then I realized I could do that now. There’s much to look forward to here and forever.

If Joe’s aware of it, I know he is so pleased to know that God used that long engagement, that I gave him trouble about from time-to-time through all the years, to teach and comfort me now!

These things do help me, even though the grieving process goes on. Every time God speaks to me or reminds me of His constant presence, I am helped through it.